I knew this was coming. I thought it would happen every day for the past 3 or 4 years, but it never did. Until last night. Because it was somewhat expected, it wasn't expected to phase me at all, but it did.
My pet snake of 16 years, Martin, finally passed away. You might not like snakes--you might hate them. Maybe this stems from Genesis 3, or maybe it's because some are poisonious, or maybe it's just because they creep you out. Doesn't matter. Losing a pet stinks no matter how cute or cuddly they are, no matter how many people are a fan of their particular species.
I'll make a quick sales pitch and keep it short--snakes are great pets. They're clean, quiet, don't require a lot of maintenance at all. Only eat once a week. Once you buy the initial "stuff," they're really cheap to maintain.
This isn't your typical "Marley and Me" type story, because, let's face it, it's a snake. We didn't really cuddle. She (yes, a girl named Martin) didn't wag her tail or give me kisses when I got home from work. There's no real sense of "personality" or reciprocated affection from a reptile. And, again, she was old. This was supposed to happen, and I knew it would, and so, not a big deal.
But when I walked in my room and saw her last night, it suddenly was a big deal. I've had this pet since I was 13 years old. That's more than half of my life.
I first got into snakes when I was a kid living in Florida. My first snake, Buddy, was a ball python who was not raised in captivity (terrible idea), and I owned him for a year, and he would never eat. Not once. It's amazing how long they can last without eating. I remember picking him up out of his cage one day and he didn't move, and I knew instantly that he had passed away. I carried him into the kitchen, my vision blurred and my speech incomprehensible through my nine year old tears, and I'll always remember the looks of devastation on my parents' faces as they saw me. This was my first time experiencing any real loss, and it was some of the worst pain I've ever felt. Of course since then I've experienced the loss of friends and relatives which were much more devastating, but there's something incredibly difficult about experiencing death and loss for the first time--this intangible concept had suddnely become a reality in my life, and I hated it.
This time wasn't as dramatic. I'm a grown-up now, I get it, pets die. But once I came to the realization that it was happening, I got hit with a similar wave of sadness that I absolutely did not see coming. It was hard not to think about that first day at the pet store when I bought her, and all those times watching her climb trees in the yard, or swim a million miles an hour in the bathtub. How "cool" all my middle school friends thought it was that the kid down the street had a pet snake. How she used to wrap her tail around my arm to soak in my body heat. And, utlimately, the first and only time she bit someone after having about a 13 year non-biting streak. This is when I realized she was getting old (snakes don't really visably age), and it was a tough pill to swallow even then.
So now the initial shock and sadness has worn off a bit, and I have a different feeling. I feel--honestly--kind of silly for even being upset at all about this, for the reasons mentioned above. I won't have to stop by the pet store once a week to get "snake food" anymore. People won't freak out when they find out there's a snake in the house. On some levels, things get easier from here. I still have the Labrador, who is much cuter and sweeter, and a far better cuddler and kisser. And SHE sometimes listens and obeys commands. But I saw a lot of milestones with Martin. She was with me through adolescence, high school, college, several moves, my first job. A couple (cough, cough) of different girlfriends. My baptism. I've owned a snake during essentially every achievement and disappointment I have had in life. Kind of crazy to think about.
And now she's gone.
I'll be over it fairly soon I'm sure, but the cage not being there will likely serve as a frequent reminder that a chapter--maybe several--of my life has come to a close, and it is time to transition to the next one.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
NO, I HAVEN'T!
Admission time: I have a few pet peeves. I know what you're thinking: I'm likable and friendly, and mostly get along with everyone without really seeming to get annoyed. Ever. (you ARE thinking that, right?) It's true though, sometimes things irritate me.
I don't like chain emails that give instructions to "forward to at least 8 people or you will have bad luck for 14098609865 years." I hate when people say something is "crucial" when they mean it's neat or fun, or cool. Is it really vital, or are you just saying you enjoy it? I don't like it when people say "literally" and then describe something figuratively (i.e. "he's such a good athlete, he can literally jump out of the gym"). No he can't. Literally, cannot. I don't like when I return a missed call moments later, only to go straight to voicemail. You just called me! With a few exceptions, I don't like when someone calls me, when I was just fine with our text message conversation. I do love a good phone call every now and then, but it is 2011, after all.
This one's always been the worst though. There are a few books I haven't read, and movies I haven't seen. Just a couple. Regarding movies, there a few "epic" (that's another one) series that I have not seen a minute of. The Godfather. The Matrix. Lord of the Rings. Up until recently, The Chronicles of Narnia. And, often, these come up in conversation with friends. This is what it sounds like:
"Remember that part in Lord Of The Rings when Frodo says..."
"Yeah, actually I haven't seen those movies"
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LORD OF THE RINGS!?!?!!?"
There it is. Did you see it? The emphatic disbelief that there is someone alive who hasn't seen a certain movie is slightly understandable perhaps, but totally unnecessary. I just said I haven't seen it. I'm generally honest. No need to verify. There was a time in my past where I would actually just smile and nod in agreement so as to avoid this awkwardly frustrating exchange. I used to get very annoyed by this (still do) and storm off in a tiff, but I've become a little more measured in my reaction. My responses now are like this:
"actually, yeah, you're right, I have. I just have this habitual, bold-faced, pointless lying problem. Sorry you fell victim to it this time."
or "no, you know what? In the time that elapsed since I told you I haven't and now, I actually did watch it. Thanks for verifying. Great movie"
Why do people do this? I haven't seen the movie. Still haven't. I doubt I can get people all over the world to refrain from this. Maybe the answer is to just have a marathon redbox weekend so I don't have to deal with it anymore?
I don't like chain emails that give instructions to "forward to at least 8 people or you will have bad luck for 14098609865 years." I hate when people say something is "crucial" when they mean it's neat or fun, or cool. Is it really vital, or are you just saying you enjoy it? I don't like it when people say "literally" and then describe something figuratively (i.e. "he's such a good athlete, he can literally jump out of the gym"). No he can't. Literally, cannot. I don't like when I return a missed call moments later, only to go straight to voicemail. You just called me! With a few exceptions, I don't like when someone calls me, when I was just fine with our text message conversation. I do love a good phone call every now and then, but it is 2011, after all.
This one's always been the worst though. There are a few books I haven't read, and movies I haven't seen. Just a couple. Regarding movies, there a few "epic" (that's another one) series that I have not seen a minute of. The Godfather. The Matrix. Lord of the Rings. Up until recently, The Chronicles of Narnia. And, often, these come up in conversation with friends. This is what it sounds like:
"Remember that part in Lord Of The Rings when Frodo says..."
"Yeah, actually I haven't seen those movies"
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LORD OF THE RINGS!?!?!!?"
There it is. Did you see it? The emphatic disbelief that there is someone alive who hasn't seen a certain movie is slightly understandable perhaps, but totally unnecessary. I just said I haven't seen it. I'm generally honest. No need to verify. There was a time in my past where I would actually just smile and nod in agreement so as to avoid this awkwardly frustrating exchange. I used to get very annoyed by this (still do) and storm off in a tiff, but I've become a little more measured in my reaction. My responses now are like this:
"actually, yeah, you're right, I have. I just have this habitual, bold-faced, pointless lying problem. Sorry you fell victim to it this time."
or "no, you know what? In the time that elapsed since I told you I haven't and now, I actually did watch it. Thanks for verifying. Great movie"
Why do people do this? I haven't seen the movie. Still haven't. I doubt I can get people all over the world to refrain from this. Maybe the answer is to just have a marathon redbox weekend so I don't have to deal with it anymore?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Resolution Season
So, what do you think of New Year's resolutions? I've heard a lot of talk about them the last week or so, everything from people who always make them and never meet them, never make them (so they always meet them), people who believe it's great to embrace a new start, and aim high, and people who believe it's silly to make a drastic declaration that you are almost certain not to achieve.
Me? I'm a fan. Always have been. Why not? Not crazy about your typical lose weight, quit smoking, save more, etc--though these are all admirable and, yeah, please do them if they're yours--but if there's something that will make your life and the lives of others better, why not have a goal and work to achieve it?
My family's done something cool for the last few years. Not really resolutions, more like "predictions" of things that will happen in each of our lives in the coming year. Each New Year we write down a list of 3-5 of these each, put them in a box, and don't read them again until the following year. It's interesting and often hilarious to look back and see what you guessed right, what you got completely wrong, and what mattered to you 365 days ago that, well, don't anymore.
Some of my past predictions were things like "buy a house," "new car," "make X amount of money."
Well, I rent, I'm not rich, and I just spent $1100 servicing my 97 pickup that I've driven since high school. None of these things are really important to me anymore. Sure, probably one day I'll buy a house. And, inevitably one day I will have to get a new vehicle. But the timeline really is no longer a concern. I have a place to sleep, enough money to pay the bills, and a vehicle to get me where I need to go (and I love that truck).
So, I made a list of predictions this year, and they were a little different. I'll tell you what they are on Jan 1, 2012.
I also have a short list of personal, tangible resolutions, but they all really boil down to one: strenghening my relationship with God. That's tough. In the culture we live in, with the time constraints we have, does it ever seem really difficult to spend enough time in prayer or reading, loving and giving and serving others in the name of Christ? And, even when we do spend a lot of time by our standards, is that sufficient for the Creator of the Universe? I'll be the first to admit it's a tall order, and none of us ever "get there" this side of heaven, do we? The point though, I think, is to hold two contrasting ideas in tension with one another--that (1) by nature we are a wreck of sinful nastiness, we continually fall short, we absolutely need and should always desire more of God and that (2) God loves us, He can and will forgive us of all our shortcomings, and we can have confidence that if we call on Him, He will answer. For me, when these two ideas are held in tension with one another and intersect at the Cross of Jesus, the good news of the Gospel hits me with a new freshness that takes my breath away.
So yes, my resolutions are difficult--really, impossible. Here's the thing though. If it is to happen, it will without question require God to work in, through, for, with, and in spite of me.
This sense of absolute dependency gives me a lot of peace, because I'll take His success rate over mine any day of the year.
Me? I'm a fan. Always have been. Why not? Not crazy about your typical lose weight, quit smoking, save more, etc--though these are all admirable and, yeah, please do them if they're yours--but if there's something that will make your life and the lives of others better, why not have a goal and work to achieve it?
My family's done something cool for the last few years. Not really resolutions, more like "predictions" of things that will happen in each of our lives in the coming year. Each New Year we write down a list of 3-5 of these each, put them in a box, and don't read them again until the following year. It's interesting and often hilarious to look back and see what you guessed right, what you got completely wrong, and what mattered to you 365 days ago that, well, don't anymore.
Some of my past predictions were things like "buy a house," "new car," "make X amount of money."
Well, I rent, I'm not rich, and I just spent $1100 servicing my 97 pickup that I've driven since high school. None of these things are really important to me anymore. Sure, probably one day I'll buy a house. And, inevitably one day I will have to get a new vehicle. But the timeline really is no longer a concern. I have a place to sleep, enough money to pay the bills, and a vehicle to get me where I need to go (and I love that truck).
So, I made a list of predictions this year, and they were a little different. I'll tell you what they are on Jan 1, 2012.
I also have a short list of personal, tangible resolutions, but they all really boil down to one: strenghening my relationship with God. That's tough. In the culture we live in, with the time constraints we have, does it ever seem really difficult to spend enough time in prayer or reading, loving and giving and serving others in the name of Christ? And, even when we do spend a lot of time by our standards, is that sufficient for the Creator of the Universe? I'll be the first to admit it's a tall order, and none of us ever "get there" this side of heaven, do we? The point though, I think, is to hold two contrasting ideas in tension with one another--that (1) by nature we are a wreck of sinful nastiness, we continually fall short, we absolutely need and should always desire more of God and that (2) God loves us, He can and will forgive us of all our shortcomings, and we can have confidence that if we call on Him, He will answer. For me, when these two ideas are held in tension with one another and intersect at the Cross of Jesus, the good news of the Gospel hits me with a new freshness that takes my breath away.
So yes, my resolutions are difficult--really, impossible. Here's the thing though. If it is to happen, it will without question require God to work in, through, for, with, and in spite of me.
This sense of absolute dependency gives me a lot of peace, because I'll take His success rate over mine any day of the year.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
MicDroid
ok, so I know at the end of the last post I said this one would be poking a little bit of fun people (myself included) for overdoing it with "churchspeak." Well, I took a day or two to think about it, and it's not going to happen. Since I've connected with a lot of different people over the past year, we've been able to establish a lot of relational capital with one another, and we try to stay pretty geunine and authentic in having a missional mindset as we do life together in community, so I'm going to be very intentional about not making fun of how we talk. And that's final.
What I will do, however, is talk to you about my new favorite thing, the MicDroid app for my phone. This is so cool! It's an auto-tune thing, similar to the "I am T-Pain" app for all you nerdy, elitist iPhone users* out there. Matt and I both downloaded it to our phones, and he was literally like a little kid at Christmas when I showed it to him. I think he made about 500 recordings in the first five minutes after downloading. My favorite is him saying "Shawty.....shawty..." in his best T-Pain voice; I actually set this as a ringtone for a while. So if you have Android, go get it and let the fun begin!
*If you happen to own an iPhone, don't be offended. I love you. Just as much as all my other friends, and maybe even more. I just happen to think you're a little bit nerdy and elitist.
What I will do, however, is talk to you about my new favorite thing, the MicDroid app for my phone. This is so cool! It's an auto-tune thing, similar to the "I am T-Pain" app for all you nerdy, elitist iPhone users* out there. Matt and I both downloaded it to our phones, and he was literally like a little kid at Christmas when I showed it to him. I think he made about 500 recordings in the first five minutes after downloading. My favorite is him saying "Shawty.....shawty..." in his best T-Pain voice; I actually set this as a ringtone for a while. So if you have Android, go get it and let the fun begin!
*If you happen to own an iPhone, don't be offended. I love you. Just as much as all my other friends, and maybe even more. I just happen to think you're a little bit nerdy and elitist.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Acting, Singing, Dancing, Rapping
And worship.
Sunday night was a milestone of sorts.
My friends at Movement Church got together to celebrate Christmas before everyone splits town to visit family. The focus of the night, obviously, was celebrating the incarnation of Jesus, his stepping out of glory and into humility to a broken world to save sinners. Roommate Matt (aka Heavy D) and the worship band were great, my favorite part was Heavy on the electric guitar playing "Silent Night"--truly awesome--and we had a great word presented by the always inspiring Robby Christmas.
Then we shared a meal, and each of five Community Groups was charged with presenting a Christmas song or skit. This is when the laughter started, as we had a lot of creativity and humor crammed into one room. There was a "fake" Santa who turned out to be a catburgular, "Bill gone wild" (long story), an updated, hilarious version of the 12 days of Christmas, and a mock Community Group meeting that poked a little fun at our two pastors--some incredible impersonations by the way!
My favorite song, of course, was the one that featured me rapping. We came out in borrowed choir robes and did a version of "Oh Holy Night" with Joanna taking most of the vocals (amazing), and about halfway through the singing stopped, Robby and I each grabbed a mic and threw on baseball caps, and he beatboxed while I rapped for what seemed like forever but really amounted to about a minute and a half. I'm talking like, 8 Mile, rap concert kind of rapping, but the co-writer preaches for a living so it was theologically sound. We even found something to rhyme with "substiutionary atonement." Rumor is there's a video out there somewhere, hopefully I can get my hands on it and post it at some point.
Needless to say this was not your typical worship service, but worship we did. Naturally everyone was hyped about the skits and the competition, but the focus was on Jesus from beginning to end. as it should be and always is at Movement. I'm so blessed to be a part of such a great community of Christ-followers, and it was neat to see a display of all the talents God has given us join together in a night of fun and fellowship and giving thanks to Him.
In the spirit of poking fun at pastors, look for the next blogpost to be titled "Church words and our excessive usage." And, let's be honest, it's not just limited to vocational ministers.
Hopefully you'll "camp out" there for a while.
Sunday night was a milestone of sorts.
My friends at Movement Church got together to celebrate Christmas before everyone splits town to visit family. The focus of the night, obviously, was celebrating the incarnation of Jesus, his stepping out of glory and into humility to a broken world to save sinners. Roommate Matt (aka Heavy D) and the worship band were great, my favorite part was Heavy on the electric guitar playing "Silent Night"--truly awesome--and we had a great word presented by the always inspiring Robby Christmas.
Then we shared a meal, and each of five Community Groups was charged with presenting a Christmas song or skit. This is when the laughter started, as we had a lot of creativity and humor crammed into one room. There was a "fake" Santa who turned out to be a catburgular, "Bill gone wild" (long story), an updated, hilarious version of the 12 days of Christmas, and a mock Community Group meeting that poked a little fun at our two pastors--some incredible impersonations by the way!
My favorite song, of course, was the one that featured me rapping. We came out in borrowed choir robes and did a version of "Oh Holy Night" with Joanna taking most of the vocals (amazing), and about halfway through the singing stopped, Robby and I each grabbed a mic and threw on baseball caps, and he beatboxed while I rapped for what seemed like forever but really amounted to about a minute and a half. I'm talking like, 8 Mile, rap concert kind of rapping, but the co-writer preaches for a living so it was theologically sound. We even found something to rhyme with "substiutionary atonement." Rumor is there's a video out there somewhere, hopefully I can get my hands on it and post it at some point.
Needless to say this was not your typical worship service, but worship we did. Naturally everyone was hyped about the skits and the competition, but the focus was on Jesus from beginning to end. as it should be and always is at Movement. I'm so blessed to be a part of such a great community of Christ-followers, and it was neat to see a display of all the talents God has given us join together in a night of fun and fellowship and giving thanks to Him.
In the spirit of poking fun at pastors, look for the next blogpost to be titled "Church words and our excessive usage." And, let's be honest, it's not just limited to vocational ministers.
Hopefully you'll "camp out" there for a while.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Crazy quiet snow acoustics
First attempt at a blog post, cut me a little slack here...
Today was awesome. Not in your ordinary, everything-you-do-is-incredible kind of awesome, but just a mostly average day with a few really bright spots. Work started off well, then the snow came...and of course my rear-wheel drive truck doesn't perform well in any kind of precipitation excluding rain, so that was a concern. But, the bank let us go at noon so I wrapped up my work and made a hasty departure with the help of my friend Brian's 4Runner. Pad Thai at Noodles & Co with Brian, then home to take a walk with Matt (the roommate) and Annie (the labrador). Mission: find, purchase dog food. Ended up at the local pharmacy a couple of blocks from my house, and the woman who rung me up is the mother of one of the kids I used to coach football in Richmond. Had not seen her or her son in a while, we had a pleasant little catching-up kind of chat, and it sounds like the family is doing well. Quickly exchanged my promises to shop again at the pharmacy and hers to tell her son I said hello, and a couple of sincere "take care"s and "Merry Christmas"es. Good stuff. Later, having fed Annie, built a roaring fire, drank some Dr. Pepper and made some real headway into reading David Platt's Radical. And it is. Go read it.
Matt and I walked through the snow to a neighbor's house (well, kind of--quarter mile or so) for dinner and a movie, he with his awesomely Gore-tex waterproof, "I can walk through a stream and my feet stay dry" hiking boots, and me with my plastic grocery bags nestled between my wool socks and New Balances. I'm that kid. Probably always will be. The time with the neighbors was great--they're the kind of people who make you feel like family almost instantly, and she's the kind of cook who...well, let's just say I don't generally go putting plastic bags on my feet and walking through the snow for fun. But the walk home is where it got really cool.
I've always been a sucker for snow, mostly because as a kid it meant getting out of school, playing outside all day, warm hot chocolate, the holidays, and family. Nowadays with megacorporations staying open all the time, traffic, stress, and that three month period where you want to wash your car but don't because you know it will just get covered with salt in a day or so, it's easy to lose that little-kid, almost-Christmas excitement that accompanies snowfall. But tonight I discovered a new reason to love it--or maybe an old one, but definitely one that had previously gone largely unnoticed. The sound....
As we were walking in the dark, I couldn't help but notice how muffled and quiet everything was. The wind had died down but the air still had a nice crisp "bite" to it, and the only sound I could hear was the soft crunching of snow and ice under our feet as we walked. My eyes were magnetically compelled to the sky, and the clouds had departed to reveal an equally clear, crisp view of more stars than I have seen in Richmond in a long time. So there we were, a couple of (mostly) grown-up, white-collar corporate "dudes" who live just a few miles from the bustling city center, but with the starry sky and the numbing silence, it felt like we couldn't be further away from everything. It was one of those rare moments of peace and contentment that many of us often lose sight of in our day-to-day lives. Totally worth a little chill on my face and snow in my shoes.
So I've shedded a few layers and now I'm in the warm comfort of my home, but I can't get the amazing picture of how big and pefectly designed God's creation is. As another year comes to a close, I began to consider how this one will likely go down as the most important in all of the 28 I've spent walking the earth. If you know me, you know I've gone through some pretty incredible changes over the last year (more on that later), and as we were walking, soaking in the crazy quiet snow acoustics, I felt overtaken by an unbelievable rush of appreciation and gratitude for the many blessings I have received.
I'm not sure if I'll make it into work tomorrow, or how I'll get there if I do, but that's a concern that can wait until the morning. For now, I think I'll enjoy the silence and get some sleep.
Today was awesome. Not in your ordinary, everything-you-do-is-incredible kind of awesome, but just a mostly average day with a few really bright spots. Work started off well, then the snow came...and of course my rear-wheel drive truck doesn't perform well in any kind of precipitation excluding rain, so that was a concern. But, the bank let us go at noon so I wrapped up my work and made a hasty departure with the help of my friend Brian's 4Runner. Pad Thai at Noodles & Co with Brian, then home to take a walk with Matt (the roommate) and Annie (the labrador). Mission: find, purchase dog food. Ended up at the local pharmacy a couple of blocks from my house, and the woman who rung me up is the mother of one of the kids I used to coach football in Richmond. Had not seen her or her son in a while, we had a pleasant little catching-up kind of chat, and it sounds like the family is doing well. Quickly exchanged my promises to shop again at the pharmacy and hers to tell her son I said hello, and a couple of sincere "take care"s and "Merry Christmas"es. Good stuff. Later, having fed Annie, built a roaring fire, drank some Dr. Pepper and made some real headway into reading David Platt's Radical. And it is. Go read it.
Matt and I walked through the snow to a neighbor's house (well, kind of--quarter mile or so) for dinner and a movie, he with his awesomely Gore-tex waterproof, "I can walk through a stream and my feet stay dry" hiking boots, and me with my plastic grocery bags nestled between my wool socks and New Balances. I'm that kid. Probably always will be. The time with the neighbors was great--they're the kind of people who make you feel like family almost instantly, and she's the kind of cook who...well, let's just say I don't generally go putting plastic bags on my feet and walking through the snow for fun. But the walk home is where it got really cool.
I've always been a sucker for snow, mostly because as a kid it meant getting out of school, playing outside all day, warm hot chocolate, the holidays, and family. Nowadays with megacorporations staying open all the time, traffic, stress, and that three month period where you want to wash your car but don't because you know it will just get covered with salt in a day or so, it's easy to lose that little-kid, almost-Christmas excitement that accompanies snowfall. But tonight I discovered a new reason to love it--or maybe an old one, but definitely one that had previously gone largely unnoticed. The sound....
As we were walking in the dark, I couldn't help but notice how muffled and quiet everything was. The wind had died down but the air still had a nice crisp "bite" to it, and the only sound I could hear was the soft crunching of snow and ice under our feet as we walked. My eyes were magnetically compelled to the sky, and the clouds had departed to reveal an equally clear, crisp view of more stars than I have seen in Richmond in a long time. So there we were, a couple of (mostly) grown-up, white-collar corporate "dudes" who live just a few miles from the bustling city center, but with the starry sky and the numbing silence, it felt like we couldn't be further away from everything. It was one of those rare moments of peace and contentment that many of us often lose sight of in our day-to-day lives. Totally worth a little chill on my face and snow in my shoes.
So I've shedded a few layers and now I'm in the warm comfort of my home, but I can't get the amazing picture of how big and pefectly designed God's creation is. As another year comes to a close, I began to consider how this one will likely go down as the most important in all of the 28 I've spent walking the earth. If you know me, you know I've gone through some pretty incredible changes over the last year (more on that later), and as we were walking, soaking in the crazy quiet snow acoustics, I felt overtaken by an unbelievable rush of appreciation and gratitude for the many blessings I have received.
I'm not sure if I'll make it into work tomorrow, or how I'll get there if I do, but that's a concern that can wait until the morning. For now, I think I'll enjoy the silence and get some sleep.
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