NO, I HAVEN'T!

Admission time: I have a few pet peeves.  I know what you're thinking:  I'm likable and friendly, and mostly get along with everyone without really seeming to get annoyed. Ever. (you ARE thinking that, right?)  It's true though, sometimes things irritate me. 

I don't like chain emails that give instructions to "forward to at least 8 people or you will have bad luck for 14098609865 years."  I hate when people say something is "crucial" when they mean it's neat or fun, or cool. Is it really vital, or are you just saying you enjoy it?  I don't like it when people say "literally" and then describe something figuratively (i.e. "he's such a good athlete, he can literally jump out of the gym"). No he can't. Literally, cannot.  I don't like when I return a missed call moments later, only to go straight to voicemail.  You just called me!  With a few exceptions, I don't like when someone calls me, when I was just fine with our text message conversation.  I do love a good phone call every now and then, but it is 2011, after all. 

This one's always been the worst though.  There are a few books I haven't read, and movies I haven't seen.  Just a couple.  Regarding movies, there a few "epic" (that's another one) series that I have not seen a minute of.  The Godfather.  The Matrix.  Lord of the Rings.  Up until recently, The Chronicles of Narnia.  And, often, these come up in conversation with friends.  This is what it sounds like:

"Remember that part in Lord Of The Rings when Frodo says..."

"Yeah, actually I haven't seen those movies"

"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LORD OF THE RINGS!?!?!!?"

There it is. Did you see it?  The emphatic disbelief that there is someone alive who hasn't seen a certain movie is slightly understandable perhaps, but totally unnecessary.  I just said I haven't seen it. I'm generally honest.  No need to verify.  There was a time in my past where I would actually just smile and nod in agreement so as to avoid this awkwardly frustrating exchange.  I used to get very annoyed by this (still do) and storm off in a tiff,  but I've become a little more measured in my reaction.  My responses now are like this:

"actually, yeah, you're right, I have. I just have this habitual, bold-faced, pointless lying problem. Sorry you fell victim to it this time."

or "no, you know what?  In the time that elapsed since I told you I haven't and now, I actually did watch it. Thanks for verifying.  Great movie" 

Why do people do this? I haven't seen the movie.  Still haven't.  I doubt I can get people all over the world to refrain from this.  Maybe the answer is to just have a marathon redbox weekend so I don't have to deal with it anymore?