I knew this was coming. I thought it would happen every day for the past 3 or 4 years, but it never did. Until last night. Because it was somewhat expected, it wasn't expected to phase me at all, but it did.
My pet snake of 16 years, Martin, finally passed away. You might not like snakes--you might hate them. Maybe this stems from Genesis 3, or maybe it's because some are poisonious, or maybe it's just because they creep you out. Doesn't matter. Losing a pet stinks no matter how cute or cuddly they are, no matter how many people are a fan of their particular species.
I'll make a quick sales pitch and keep it short--snakes are great pets. They're clean, quiet, don't require a lot of maintenance at all. Only eat once a week. Once you buy the initial "stuff," they're really cheap to maintain.
This isn't your typical "Marley and Me" type story, because, let's face it, it's a snake. We didn't really cuddle. She (yes, a girl named Martin) didn't wag her tail or give me kisses when I got home from work. There's no real sense of "personality" or reciprocated affection from a reptile. And, again, she was old. This was supposed to happen, and I knew it would, and so, not a big deal.
But when I walked in my room and saw her last night, it suddenly was a big deal. I've had this pet since I was 13 years old. That's more than half of my life.
I first got into snakes when I was a kid living in Florida. My first snake, Buddy, was a ball python who was not raised in captivity (terrible idea), and I owned him for a year, and he would never eat. Not once. It's amazing how long they can last without eating. I remember picking him up out of his cage one day and he didn't move, and I knew instantly that he had passed away. I carried him into the kitchen, my vision blurred and my speech incomprehensible through my nine year old tears, and I'll always remember the looks of devastation on my parents' faces as they saw me. This was my first time experiencing any real loss, and it was some of the worst pain I've ever felt. Of course since then I've experienced the loss of friends and relatives which were much more devastating, but there's something incredibly difficult about experiencing death and loss for the first time--this intangible concept had suddnely become a reality in my life, and I hated it.
This time wasn't as dramatic. I'm a grown-up now, I get it, pets die. But once I came to the realization that it was happening, I got hit with a similar wave of sadness that I absolutely did not see coming. It was hard not to think about that first day at the pet store when I bought her, and all those times watching her climb trees in the yard, or swim a million miles an hour in the bathtub. How "cool" all my middle school friends thought it was that the kid down the street had a pet snake. How she used to wrap her tail around my arm to soak in my body heat. And, utlimately, the first and only time she bit someone after having about a 13 year non-biting streak. This is when I realized she was getting old (snakes don't really visably age), and it was a tough pill to swallow even then.
So now the initial shock and sadness has worn off a bit, and I have a different feeling. I feel--honestly--kind of silly for even being upset at all about this, for the reasons mentioned above. I won't have to stop by the pet store once a week to get "snake food" anymore. People won't freak out when they find out there's a snake in the house. On some levels, things get easier from here. I still have the Labrador, who is much cuter and sweeter, and a far better cuddler and kisser. And SHE sometimes listens and obeys commands. But I saw a lot of milestones with Martin. She was with me through adolescence, high school, college, several moves, my first job. A couple (cough, cough) of different girlfriends. My baptism. I've owned a snake during essentially every achievement and disappointment I have had in life. Kind of crazy to think about.
And now she's gone.
I'll be over it fairly soon I'm sure, but the cage not being there will likely serve as a frequent reminder that a chapter--maybe several--of my life has come to a close, and it is time to transition to the next one.
No comments:
Post a Comment